I promise

to write in this soon. But I think my procrastination of reading, is actually hindering me from writing. Which, in essence, is a great thing.

I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm in law school, I have a loving boyfriend, incredible friends, a WONDERFUL family, I know what I want to do with my future, I'm excited about what I want to do for the future, and I'm feeling good about where I am in life.

Sometimes I just need to remind myself of the good things in life.

Nothing Like A Little Perspective...

... to put you in your place. For the past week or so I've been seriously pouting. Poor me I am living away from my family and friends. Poor me I didn't get into my dream law school. Poor me poor me. Well, after tonight, enough is enough. I got wind on facebook that a girl I know from college is having more tests and procedures in an attempt to cure, aid, heal, anything for her illness. The last I remember is that she had pancreatitis, among a breadth of other complications arising from it. This girl has spent a good part of her young adult life on opiates because of the pain she has had to endure. She no longer has the ability to ever bear children because in the midst of her illness, the doctors found that scar tissue had encompassed some of her organs so badly that they needed to be removed. And even after all this (I haven't even begun to tell you the probing and testing that's been done to her), she is one of the happiest and most alive women I have ever known. Sometimes I think, wow I am so lucky to not have that. But I don't pity her, well I do feel horrible that she has this debilitating disease. But she is this beyond incredibly woman with an amazing family and AWESOME support system. If someone can go through all of that, and come out better for it, then I can surely see the light at the end of my tunnel and be grateful for it.

I think today, or at least this morning, is indicative of my life for the next 8 months. I can no longer see Mt. Rainier from my window, and there isn't a stitch of blue in the sky. But I'm in law school, a pretty good one at that. And I have family and friends who love me and have been checking in on me, and that means that life ain't bad!

It's my first day of school... and the only thing racing through my mind is... what am I going to wear?!?!!?

Seattle Living, Something New and Different!

When I say that phrase (of my title), I immediately think of 10 Things I Hate About You when the Shakespearean-loving brunette sarcastically says this phrase. But in my case, it's the truth. I have spent the last 24 years mostly living within a 40-mile radius of my hometown. I never went abroad in college, but I did spend 4 months in Colorado. But my time in Colorado was work work work and there was little time to actually LIVE in Colorado. Now I am living in a city with bums, and buses, and crappy mexican food. And I must find a way to not only function in it, but love it. Let's not forget my first trip to the supermarket in which I was fighting back tears because they did not carry my Claussen pickles and pear cider, that was a wakeup call to realizing holy shit I am somewhere else. Things could obviously be worse, I could be living in Kazakhstan like an acquaintance of mine, but sometimes Seattle feels like an obscure faraway country.

In one week I will be studying and reading before my first day of school the following Monday. What the hell have I done?? Reading? Unless it's Harry Potter, I'm only vaguely interested. Remembering? I have the memory of a goldfish. Being in class with pretentious people? OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME! I really hope I made the right decision in leaving behind my loving family, amazing friends, and incredible boyfriend.

If you can't already tell, I'm a HORRIBLE writer. I have no form, no depth, and no creativity. But I'm hoping that will all change within this first year of school. Seattle University has one of the best Legal Writing Programs in the country and I'l be able to drastically improve my writing by year's end. HALLELUJAH!!

Okay - most boring blog ever. but the next one (hopefully if there IS a next one) will be much better. I promise.

Back in the swing of things...

Oh, Mondays. Have you ever stopped to think if you hate Mondays because you're supposed to hate Mondays? Or if you actually do from the bottom of your heart DESPISE the fact that it's Monday and that there are 4 whole days AFTER today that you still need to work? That doesn't pertain to myself I realized while writing that. Because I am one of the very oh-so-lucky few that has a part-time job. But along with these part-time hours comes with a part-time paycheck, which I realized is not enough to support my spending and drinking habits (hence my credit card decline this past weekend, ouch). Oh well - and the show goes on. I tried to rationalize it by thinking of my friends who have loan payments to make every month. My boyfriend has $1000/month payments, I'd be paid off in no time!!! And he has to make that for the next few years. Unfortunately I don't even have an income that would support a $1000/month payment, I only make $800 measley dollars a month.

As you might have been able to tell already, this post is a rant of my incapacity to make money or obtain a job that is equally challenging and fulfilling. I say this as I sigh because I feel completely hopeless in the situation that I'm in. I will refrain from describing my woes anymore, in case the Christian Okoye of attorneys actually reads this. *******

I'm considering breaking into the "mommy and daddy will you pay off my credit card and I will pay you back" fund. But I've already done that once, and paid it off. So I would feel like even more of a 24 year-old LOSER if I had to ask a second time. Especially since my parents aren't exactly raking in the dough either. I even considered the "grandma and grandpa will you pay off my credit card and I will pay you back" fund, but my grandpa's got his mistress to pay for and heaven forbid she could go a day without a Big Mac or something.

Maybe I should go back to work and actually earn my $9/hour. What a treat. Until next time folks... And I promise it will come sooner than later like last time...

"Clinching"

Today Obama has "clinched" the appropriate amount of delegates to secure his nomination as the Democratic nominee. He will not be officially named until convention, but now he has clinched it. That feeling of security I wanted isn't quite coming to me today. It's been a strange whirlwind of emotions. Okay, Obama is in, now what? Now we go against an entire party, or should I say parties. We all know that Ralph Nader is going to put up a hell of a fight, HA! I guess this is where the big guns come out. I feel a little emotionally involved in Obama's campaign. When I read negative articles, and hear inappropriate comments, I feel offended. I feel like someone is harassing me. What is the worst, is that I feel like I can't do anything about it, because ultimately it is not me being affected. I just know that there are rough waters ahead. But I'm ready for them. It's unfortunate that I am not still at Chapman, I would love to have seen the students getting involved. oh well, woe is me, life as a graduate.

So now, I guess you could say I'm "clinching" my life. I have the power to make my decisions and to act on them. But I guess the importance of my actions and the determination of them will be decided later on. Very interesting to have something in the palm of your hand, but therein lies a point of instability as well. I find it very amusing that I can be totally serious and tell myself something and make a decision. And then moments later retract it. I need to learn to be a more loyal person to myself.

So this has definitely turned into a diary entry, which is not what I wanted it to be. I wanted to express my emotions of excitement for Obama's semi-victory (since Hill-dog won't concede, betttch). But it's a very mixed basket of emotion. There's a long journey ahead still, but I can't even begin to believe how I've done something to play part in this small slice of history. I really can't wait to tell my children one day that I helped make it possible. That I helped register new voters in Philadelphia, knocked on doors before the California primary, got people to vote at Chapman. It's silly, but I want to make sure I keep all my t-shirts for my kids. Look at me, thinking so far ahead. and about children. I must be drunk right now. No, I'm not really.

Hopefully I will have something a tad more profound to write about next time.

-V

The Kennedy Curse

Edward Kennedy was found to have a brain tumor today. Yet another Kennedy that's life will most likely end at a young age. Is it the Kennedy Curse? Or is it life? The reality that death can come at any moment has been fresh in my mind lately. I have always been a paranoid person, if my skull feels uneven, I have a tumor, if I'm breathing funny, I have a disease. It's always something with me. This morning I had a terrible nosebleed, I never have nosebleeds. It was profusely bleeding for close to a minute, and the thoughts in my head were that I was going to pass out, bleed to death, and no one was going to find me. But here I am now, at work, and totally fine. Except for that I now fear the blood went back into my brain and is creating unusual clotting. Do I watch too much House and Grey's Anatomy? mmm possibly. Whatever it may be, I have an increasing paranoia that there is something internally wrong with me, and that when it surfaces it might be too late.

I also freak myself out at night thinking there is a burglar that has come into my house. All my roommates are gone for a month, I'm feeling incredibly vulnerable.

Just checked out CNN for the day, Obama is looking FANTASTIC. It looks as if Clinton is severely losing her base. I think people are starting to realize that both of them are incredibly qualified, but Obama is winning the race. Everyone loves a winner. She is an incredibly accomplished woman. I admire her for her strengths. I would want nothing more than a woman president, but I want a woman that worked her way up on her own, not piggybacking her husband to the top. I truly believe that Hillary Rodham could have made a name for herself on her own. She is a more than capable woman. But now she has too much baggage, I just don't respect her. I want to respect my president. I want a woman to look up to. Hillary isn't that woman. I used to think it was Nancy Pelosi, but she's been wavering lately. I need a new woman politician to look up to. I still love Arianna Huffington, even though she's never officially held an office, excellent writer with incredible intelligence.

My day looks promising today. I am heading to Rancho for the day to spend some time with my brother. He must be going stir crazy being at home all the time. And going to the movies wouldn't help any, he would be very uncomfortable sitting for that long. There aren't any good movies out until this weekend anyways. I hate motorcycles. I don't want to be that girl that gets freaked out by a man that drives a motorcycle. But I think I have every right to be paranoid about those death mobiles.

Off for the day...

V

I'm a college graduate...?

Hello blog world,

Still hesitant on why I am starting this. Well, Doug started one, and if he could possibly start something so cliche, then why couldn't I as well? Let's do a brief rundown of my current life status...

I just graduated from college on Saturday. Well, kind of, I walked but I have some credits to round up still... so it's almost as if I didn't graduate. In fact, it did feel like I lived a lie for the day. Just added to my day of shit actually. Oh well.

That is pretty much what is jogging my mind at the moment in time. Besides the worries of LSAT classes, LSAT, finding a JOB, meeting "the one", saying goodbye to many of my friends, losing weight, making money... oye.

So, if you're reading this, and I really don't know why you would be, here is the basis for my blabber on my blogger... it will be a mixture of my life's daily turmoils (or dramatization of them) and my opinions on the world around us.

Is this a glorified diary? Possibly. Will I at one point have something memorable and enlightening to say? I hope so.

Until next time,

which could very well be in the next hour...

best,

V